Day 29 – Game Over (Lizzie Held)

Dying to Live

A couple of weekends ago, my sister Katie invited some of our younger siblings to spend the night at her and Nathan’s new home. Dinner was a comical scene: four Helds and two Fanchers squeezed around a table for four—two of us shared a piano seat and another sat (bounced) on a Pilates ball. Laughter was all that came from our carefree group for the first few minutes. When the conversation did begin, it centered on the topic of how differently Christians and non-Christians view death and the unavoidable process of “gettin’ old.” It seemed strange that six “kids” would be talking about the end of their lives on earth, but for me, the conversation had unique significance. God had already been leading me to think about my life’s purpose in light of the fact that it is “a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14).

As my spring semester came to a close, much of what I was giving myself to seemed devoid of purpose. In the midst of a full schedule, which even included time in God’s word, fellowship with other Christians, etc., I felt a growing numbness of heart. I lacked thankfulness and contentment in the season of life God had me, and my relationship with Him was becoming increasingly joyless. While meditating on Psalm 16, the Lord began to convict me of pursuing the experience of pleasure (and joy) apart from him. The Holy Spirit opened my eyes to see that I had been living without an eternal perspective. As a result, the daily work God had lovingly purposed for me to do through His grace was an overwhelming burden as I tried to do it in my own strength. The pleasure and rest I tried to secure for myself (like finding escape through excess time on the internet or eating food) was shallow and unsatisfying. It was no wonder that my Christian life was zapped of joy and delight in God!

I started reading John Piper’s The Dangerous Duty of Delight, and God mercifully used the biblical claims in the small book to challenge me profoundly. I found the promises of Psalm 16:11 (that we will experience fullness of joy in God’s presence and pleasures forevermore when we sit with Jesus at the right hand of God in heaven) astounding (and hope-filled!). One of the sections of the book, which expounds upon Philippians 1:21, especially impacted me in light of what I was going through.

Paul’s statement, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” is in direct opposition to the world’s perspective of what it means to live and die. March 13^th was my twentieth birthday—according to the world, the “best years of my life” are beginning. How then is death gain? The world also tells me that if I am to “really live,” by my thirties, I should have established a successful career, pursued a number of pleasurable hobbies and interests, and married a wealthy and handsome man. What then does “to live is Christ” mean? How can I declare with Paul in Colossians 3:3, “For I have died, and my life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is my life appears, then I also will appear with him in glory”?

The Bible is clear that Jesus Christ will be the central joy of heaven; for, all the purposes of God center on Him. If we treasure Christ above all else in our lives on earth, then death is gain, because we go to be with Christ. Whether on earth (by faith) or in heaven (face to face, without sin!), we can experience no greater happiness or satisfaction then when we are beholding the beauty of the risen lamb, Jesus Christ, “who was slain” (Revelation 5:12) and, for our sake, made sin who knew no sin (2 Corinthians 5:21). We will never give ourselves to any pursuit more joyous than discovering the infinite wonders of the gospel—that through faith in Jesus’ finished work on the cross, sinners like you and me might become the righteousness of God in Christ and know the true God. John 17:3 tells us the amazing truth that as we grow in the knowledge of God in the face of Christ (2 Corinthians 4:6), we are even now enjoying eternal life!

As I have been looking to the Lord to help me “set [my mind] on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth” (Colossians 3:2) and to seek “fullness of joy” in his presence, I have felt a renewed passion for life lived in Him. He is such a loving Father, leading me to the true pleasures of life (and I find that they are things that will matter for eternity!) while ridding me of my love for the things of this world. I want to experience, more and more, the superior joys of laying down my life for others, of obeying and feasting on God’s Word, of resting in the finished work of the gospel and knowing my Savior better, and of giving myself wholeheartedly to the work he has called me to do today.

In the moments when I oversleep, break a piece of glassware in lab, or let a friend down, I can lose sight of the fact that I am written on the palms of God’s hands and in the Lamb’s book of life. I have to remind myself again and again throughout the day that my life is hidden with Christ, that I am forgiven, that I am being transformed into Christ’s likeness, and that one day, I will be with him forever! What a miracle of God’s grace!