Love Agrees in Prayer

John:

Love Agrees in Prayer. Both Cindy and I have felt unqualified to write about this topic—I more than Cindy. We both have active prayer lives, but they have often been separate. I know that Cindy prays for me every day, and she is quick to tell me; I need to learn this from her.

During the Love Dare, I’ve learned something that Cindy has known all along: that agreeing in prayer is one of the biggest steps we can take in generating an intimate and fulfilling relationship. During the past three weeks, as we’ve tried to pray regularly at night, I’ve found myself enjoying the prayer time more; enjoying time spent praying for Maria, who is graduating from High School, Evan and his classwork, and Rachel with all of her activities.

When Cindy and I agree in prayer, I know it makes her feel supported and loved (She tells me this all the time; I just need ears to hear). What it gives me is an added confidence (like my back is covered). It also makes me feel that life is not a competition, but a partnership: with my wife and with God.

Cindy:

John and I had not been praying together on a regular basis. I think Jim asked us to write on this topic to encourage us to “get going”! So… for the past several weeks we have been making an effort to pray together before going to bed. Sometimes there is a sacrifice to do this. On occasion John has had to forego his “wind-down” time of reading in the evening and I have had to leave some things in the house undone until a later time.

Besides the obvious of two people praying together furthering God’s kingdom, here are some benefits from a wife’s perspective:

1) Both seeing John occasionally give up what he wants to do to pray with me and hearing him pray for me, say a very loud “I love you”.

2) The times we’ve prayed together have given me a greater sense of unity with John. Even when apart during the day, I have a greater sense that we are a team with common purpose.

3) I feel more secure because I know John is looking out for me.
These things spill over in how we relate to one another at other times. When you are for the other and know your spouse is for you, you are more likely to overlook petty differences and small offenses in every day living.

The dare at the end of Day 37 includes the challenge to spend the daily time in prayer yourself if your spouse is not willing (or unable) to do so. This especially spoke to me. If John has a late evening meeting, is out of town, or is just plain exhausted I can still keep this time set apart to pray for him and the children. This has helped turn some resentment I have had toward his work schedule (a negative drain on our relationship) into the positive energy of support and encouragement.

-John and Cindy Van Aalst