Love's Motivation

“The chief end of man is to glorify God BY enjoying Him forever.” – John Piper. Love’s motivation is my satisfaction. There is simply no way around it. All humans are hedonist at heart. We simply only do want we perceive will give us our greatest satisfaction return.

This is important when reading a chapter like this. It is true that marriage has it ups and downs – sometimes very high ups and very, very dark downs. It is also true that the focus of our love for our spouse is found only in our worship for Christ. It is also true that it is hard work. I know there have been a ton of times when I’ve had an argument with Tiff and I know I should apologize first and just don’t want to. Then I hear that voice of Christ saying – “I loved you first.” Then, often more in obedience to Christ than love for my wife, I go and apologize. It is hard work… but it is work that will bring satisfaction.

The key to my satisfaction in marriage is NOT found in Tiffanee, though she is very satisfying for all that I need and want in a wife. The key to my satisfaction in marriage is in God. As I am to increase my satisfaction in Him, He guides me in how to satisfy the needs of my wife and, in return, how to be fully satisfied by her. When I’m left feeling unsatisfied, the trap is to blame my wife, but the reality is that I’ve lost satisfaction in my Lord.

Think about it. Sin is what robs our greatest satisfaction (although it provides a temporary pleasure). If freedom from sin is the ultimate satisfaction, then it is NOT our spouse’ responsibility to satisfy us because they can’t deliver us from sin. It is Jesus’ responsibility to satisfy us because only He can deliver us from sin, and it is our responsibility to seek His satisfaction through obedience (even when obedience seems to bring about temporary displeasure). Therefore, the key to love’s satisfaction is my satisfaction in Jesus Christ.

So go ahead… be selfish! Seek all the satisfaction you can find IN GOD. Seek to love your spouse by fulfilling your satisfaction in all that Jesus says and does. Follow Jesus’ example of loving them… and this will bring you true satisfaction.

-Jeremy Gwaltney