The Testimonies and Baptisms of Jasmine and Dexter

Seven Ways Leaders Lose Authority with Students

Below is an article written by Tim Elmore discussing the 7 ways a leader loses authority with students. Since I work with dozens of students each week at local high schools, showing them who Jesus is, authority is a big deal. I think this article will be helpful for anyone who follows Jesus and is leading students toward Him.

Seven Ways Leaders Lose Authority with Students
by Tim Elmore

What Do We Mean by Authority?
Authority is a fuzzy word. It conjures up all kinds of emotions inside of us when we hear it. Here, I am defining the term as an inward, moral authority that comes from the life a leader lives, not just his or her position. It’s clout. It is inward power earned by the leader — not automatically included with a title. As parents, it’s what we all want with our kids; as coaches, we want it with our players; as teachers we hope for it with our students; and as employers we desire it with our staff. Perhaps the best way to describe how it is earned is to list how it’s lost by so many leaders.

How Leaders Lose Authority with Students

Hypocrisy: Failing to live up to what you say.
This issue came up first with students. The quickest way leaders lose their moral authority with students is to fail to live the life they demand of others. Your words and your actions don’t match. It’s funny. Kids may put up with this in their peers, but not their leaders.

Cowardice: An unwillingness to demonstrate courage.
Regardless of how brilliant or unspectacular you are as a leader, if you fail to show any courage when times are tough, students’ respect for you will usually diminish. When a decision must be made or a step taken — they expect the leader to step forward and take it, not shrink as a coward.

Posing: Pretending to be someone you are not.
This one is huge with kids today. When adult leaders “pose” as someone they’re not in reality, it’s not only a turn-off, it’s a joke. For students, the only thing worse than being uncool is being unreal. When adults try to act young or hip, and it’s forced or comes across inauthentic — it’s a death sentence for student respect.

Irrelevance: Having no current success stories.
Students lose respect when all they ever hear from their leader is stories from “back in the day.” At first these stories work, but if teens don’t see current stories lived out in front of them, eventually they don’t take you seriously. They begin looking for someone who can do it now. Something current.

White lies: Exaggerating the truth.
This is a double-edged sword. Most students today admit to telling little white lies. Yet, those students lose respect when adult leaders do it. When asked to report on how a game, a project or a performance turned out — they admire leaders who tell it like it is, and don’t make the stats elastic or plastic.

Incompetence: The inability to hone your gift and excel.
This is true for followers of all ages. Leaders lose their moral authority when they can’t demonstrate they have developed their gift or talent and become excellent. This doesn’t mean they expect leaders to be good at everything, just something. It’s the law of respect: Folks follow leaders who are stronger than they are.

Fuzziness: Failure to focus the team on the primary goal.
Finally, you’ll lose authority if you are scattered and cannot focus your instruction to your team. This is why leaders are necessary. Some of your students are smart — but they need you to direct them with clarity. When you don’t, you have a hole in your pocket and you lose a little moral authority.

Keep in mind — it is possible for you to be liked by students as a friend, but not respected as a leader. We all must decide what we want most: Buddies to hang out with or young people who follow our moral authority to a worthwhile destination.

It’s your call.

A Wedding, a Funeral, the Gospel

I’ve had the tremendous honor in recent months of doing a wedding for some dear friends and to speak at the funeral of my grandmother. In addition to the privilege of being there for friends and family, it also provided a unique opportunity for the Gospel.

At the wedding, the bride and groom had a number of friends from a variety of backgrounds. Atheist, Muslim, Mormon, nominal Christian, etc. were all in attendance. At the funeral, there were a number of members of a denominational church that was straying from the core of Biblical teaching. At both, I was granted permission and took advantage of proclaiming the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. That was for me, the greatest privilege of them all.

I know I have something of an advantage in these types of situation due to the fact that my job is as a minister. I’m asked to marry and bury people, and thus have a platform to proclaim the good news of Christ. However, each of us has a platform in our own lives to proclaim Christ not matter the occupation or audience. Let’s never miss a chance to do so.

Blessings,
Jeremy

Destined for Greatness

Questions to search the heart

Several people asked for a copy of the questions that I quoted from David Powlison.

Testimony

Books Worth Adding to your Reading List in 2011

The turn of the year is always a time when we think about life improvement – how can I get better? Usually we think in terms of weight and exercise, but its also a great time to think about our spiritual health. I wasn’t a natural reader growing up (in fact my parents usually were either bribing me or enforcing me to read). But over the years, and especially after seminary, I’ve grown to love reading and increasingly see the value of good books in my life. I would encourage you to do the same.

Here are a list of books in different topic interests (with price points) that is worth adding to any reading list. Pick one or two, and make it a resolution this year to read one.

Christian Classics ($10-$20 price range):

The Cross of Christ – John Stott
I’ve often said you should read anything written by John Stott. He’s loving called the protestant Pope in academic circles. This is his best. Few books describe the necessity of Jesus’ death and its application to all the universe as well as this book. Its a must read for any Christian, and a book that will be read by many Christians 100 years from now.

Knowing God – J. I. Packer
This is a great read for someone looking to increase their knowledge and relationship with God, but don’t feel attracted to a formal theology book. It is simple and easy to read, but profound and deep in its content. Like “The Cross of Christ” above, it is a must read and a book that will be read 100 years from now.

Modern and Simple Theological Reads ($9-$20 range)

Pleasures Evermore – Sam Storms
This book has probably done more to impact my spiritual thinking than any other book outside of the Bible. It explains how our relationship with God is primarily about our pleasure because “God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in him.” Yes, it is theological, but it is accessible and easy to read.

What Jesus Demands of the World – John Piper
In this book Dr. Piper examines every command of Jesus in the New Testament. The result is a well-rounded perspective of the Son of God. Any misunderstandings of exactly what Jesus demands, what he offers and how it impacts our lives are gone after reading these pages. As a plus, the chapters are usually only 4-10 pages long, so it makes for very accessible reading; especially for people who might only have a few minutes a day to read.

The Calvary Road – Roy Hessian
I read this book every two years or so. It has a simple message on how Jesus’ life and death is to impact our lives. Pride, self-centeredness, stubbornness, and sin will all be confronted but in a loving and positive way that makes you eager to become more like Jesus. As a bonus, the book is less than 150 pages.

Modern Life-Changers ($10-$15)

Radical Reformission – Mark Driscoll
“We are all missionaries, the question is are we a good or bad one.” This book by Driscoll really challenges the notion the evangelism is something we do, instead of an outworking of who we are. Driscoll discusses how the Gospel is supposed to affect the whole person so that we can’t help but be engaged in the mission that God has called his people to. It is challenging, insightful and practical in its application. Driscoll is both an edgy and funny author, and the book is a lot of fun to read.

Crazy Love – Francis Chan
When we’ve really been impacted by the crazy love of God – one where God’s Son leaves the glories of heaven to die the most brutal death possible for his enemies, us – how can we not respond with crazy love for Christ? In this book, Chan confronts many of the conflicts between normal Christianity and the cultural American dream. However, Chan does it in a gracious way that always keeps the attractiveness of the glory of God as the main focus. Worth the read, but your life can’t help but change if you do.

Intense Theological Reads ($25-$40 range)
NOTE – these books are not for the faint of heart. While a theological education is not necessary to grasp onto the powerful theological truths in their pages, a deep and abiding interest in God’s Word and ways is necessarily to make it through the 500 plus pages of often meticulous details. Very worth the read, but it is reading that is work.

The Mission of God – Christopher Write
This is quickly becoming a theological classic among scholars. It’s central focus is concerning the universal nature of the Gospel. God’s mission was written in His character, and the Gospel is about the redemption of man first and the redemption of the world as a result. Write walks his thesis through both the Old and New Testaments in great details, and then spends a number of chapters applying the Mission of the Gospel of God not only to our personal redemption, but also to issues of social justice, environmentalism, ethics, etc. Great read.

The Meaning of the Pentateuch – John Sailhamer
This is one of the most comprehensive books about the first five books of the Bible available. While it is not a commentary, it goes into great detail about the history of interpretation, the composition, and the theology of the books of Moses. Sailhamer’s treatment of the Law, Covenant, Sacrifices, and the coming Messiah has been revolutionary to modern Old Testament studies. While the book is technical and very detailed, John has an amazingly easy writing style that is very pleasant to read — all 620 pages of it!

Snow Day at Grace Church

Wow! What weather. It’s beautiful out there.

Here’s the plan: we’re going to have one big service at 4:00 p.m.

We did this last year and it worked really well. Wear your snow boots and jeans. There will be free hot chocolate, coffee, and espresso drinks. Sweet worship and fun service are coming your way.

Drive safely! If the roads in your area aren’t safe, then please stay home. If conditions get really bad and we’re going to make a change, then we’ll let you know by 2:00 p.m.

Enjoy the beautiful morning. Go for a walk. Take some photos. Huddle up by the fire.

Hopefully we’ll see you this afternoon for “The Bonus Gift.” I guess the bonus gift was snow this year.

Grace,
Kendrick

Favorite Christmas Traditions #3 – Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve was by far the greatest of Christmas traditions. Like many traditions it evolved over time, and only got better with each passing year. Initially, it mostly involved driving around to see Christmas lights and opening one gift before bedtime. By my late teenage years, the tradition was fully evolved to an entire evening affair.

The evening usually began with a rushed trip to church for the Christmas Eve candlelight service. Grace didn’t start doing this until my early college years, but it was still a fond memory. Then it was a longer than normal trip back to the house as we would go through a variety of neighborhoods to see the Christmas decorations (usually, dinner was eaten in the car as we spent a solid hour or more looking for lights). When we got home we’d usually change into our pajamas and then gather into the living room. We would then each get one gift to open from the tree.

After the gifts were opened, mom would bring out a variety of cookies, cranberry bread and a cheeseball, as well as hot apple cider. We’d gather again to watch the original 1935 Scrooge Movie – still one of my Christmas favorites and the best Scrooge ever made and best actor to ever play the roll. After the movie we’d head up to bed and all the brothers would sleep in the same room, a tradition that remained until the Christmas before I got married. Then we’d go to sleep listening to the scurrying of mom and dad downstairs setting out the last of the Christmas gifts.

It really is awesome how powerful traditions can be to form lasting family memories. In fact, in 2002 when I got engaged to Tiffanee, we had a long conversation with each other about what to do for the holidays, should we spend them together or apart. We both decided to spend Christmas apart to enjoy one final year of our childhood traditions and memories. We both knew that Christmas 2003 would bring new traditions and experiences. I can still remember the “thank you” my mom gave me Christmas night 2002. She was very excited for Tiffanee and me getting married and the new things to come, but she also felt deeply honored that we’d decided to give those traditions and lasting memories a fitting goodbye. Looking back, we certainly made the right decision.

It is my prayer that the traditions Tiff and I create for our family over the years will be as equally enjoyed and honored by our children.

Merry Christmas,
Jeremy

Enjoying the Season

It’s my last day of work until 2011. We saved up some vacation days and added them to our paid holidays and came up with a nice break. With not traveling to Seattle for my master’s class this month, December is turning out to have a nice break to unplug from routines and enjoy what this season brings. For us that is family! All the Reklis’ will be celebrating Christmas over several days. What do 12 people do around our house? Plenty of good food, games, a movie or two, Wii, and a lot of fun. And this year we’ll have our first grandson to fuss over and spoil. Should be great!

I’m so grateful for God’s faithfulness in my life. As the year ends that is what I want to focus on because what ever lies ahead in 2011, I have the assurance that God is and will continue to be faithful. So to all our Grace Church family, my the steadfast love of God be your source of joy and peace this season and propel you into the next year. The Reklis’ send you their love.

Favorite Christmas Traditions #2 — Handel’s Messiah

Favorite Christmas Tradition #2 — Handel’s Messiah
This tradition only lasted a very short time — perhaps two or three years. The town of Morrisville used to put on a community choir performance of Handle’s Messiah. They would hire out the solo’s to performers (usually from the NC Symphony) and members of the community would make up the choir and play in the orchestra. We had friends who were in the choir. So we would go and see the performance. It was an amazing way to spend a few hours. The music is amazing, the message breathtaking, and a great reminder of the Reason for the season.

It also helps me to remember that tradition is mostly about making lasting memories. Many of our Christmas traditions took place every year. But this one was only a few years. Nevertheless, the memories are just a fun and enjoyable. Take time to try something new this year. Perhaps a new tradition will emerge.

Blessings,
Jeremy

Digesting John Rosemond