Posted May 7, 2009
I am not a naturally thoughtful person. All of us by nature are selfish sinners who are born with a knee jerk reaction to look out for number one. It’s not something that comes natural, so I really have asked God for the grace to be thoughtful. Over the years He has answered that prayer and changed my heart.
I have found that some of the greatest moments of true joy in my life are when I am doing something thoughtful for my wife. Weather it is getting her a gift, surprising her with a clean house, or doing something extremely romantic just for the fun of it, it really is more fun to give than to receive. I still have a lot to learn and I want to continue to grow in this area. For now, I have learned a few things that have really helped me to keep being thoughtful to my wife on the top of my priority list. First, I try and pray every day that God will help me to be thoughtful to my wife and think of some practical way that I could bless her that day. If you pray about it, God actually helps!! He will put ideas in your head and give you the grace to carry them out. Second, keep a list. As thoughts and ideas come to your mind, write them down. Third, to steal from Nike, just do it. Do something, great or small, just do it. It will become a habit.
-Jonathan Love
Posted May 6, 2009
We teach our children not to be selfish by instructing them to “share” their belongings with others. However, true unselfishness is more than just sharing our stuff. Marriage almost by definition forces us to share everything, we share our home, we share our meals, we share our finances, and we share our bed.
But true unselfishness isn’t just about sharing. True unselfishness requires humility and considers our spouse more important than ourselves. Unselfishness is embodied in a servant’s heart, one that my wife naturally possesses. I, on the other hand, need a pacemaker to keep my “servant’s heart” beating properly. Fortunately, a person with an unselfish loving heart does not keep track of their unselfish loving deeds and that is a good thing because I am way behind.
For those who are interested, Chapter 2 of Philippians is an excellent treatise on the subject.
-Steve Grenon
Posted May 5, 2009
Rocky -
“The King will answer and say to them, `Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’ Matthew 25:40
It’s interesting in this verse that Jesus equates simple acts of kindness, such as a meal or a drink of water or a visit, as an act done to Him. In verse 45, He goes on to say that an act of kindness withheld from one in need, is withheld from Him.
Maybe one of the more profound insights I have ever received is:
Jesus wants me to receive His love and kindness generously and He wants that for my wife equally. Plus, He wants to do it through me.
Since God passionately desires to love, bless, and show kindness and favor to my wife, then she deserves to receive that from me. If I am unkind or withhold kindness from her in any way, then I would be working against what Jesus intends for her, and He takes that personally.
Shery – When I read the Love Dare entry on kindness it reminded me of a lesson I learned in our marriage not too many years ago. I was complaining to the Lord that I was feeling a bit neglected, basically staging a pity party. I very clearly heard the Lord speak to my heart, challenging me to stop looking to be blessed and start working at being a blessing – no matter if the blessing was returned or not. I have even said the words out loud on especially trying days – I will be a blessing.
Rocky – Ephesians 5:28
“So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself….”
Sometimes we think kindness is a minor thing, like having good table manners. It’s maybe a good idea but not of utmost importance in the grand scheme of things.
But, when we are kind and do acts of kindness, we are like Jesus, doing His will, expressing His nature, and He receives it as worship and kindness to himself. Plus, it does good to ourselves too. Maybe we should put a little more priority on kindness, right?
-Rocky and Shery Armstrong
Posted May 4, 2009
Patience is an essential ingredient to any successful relationship as it demonstrates love, wisdom, respect and value for your spouse. Patience of course, is one of God’s attributes and when I look at my own life, I’m so grateful.
The Bible says God is “Long Suffering” – that means that when we don’t get it right the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd time around, God doesn’t whack us but, continues to patiently extend His grace in our transformation process. We need to learn the art of patience to extend forgiveness to one another in our imperfect world or we will end up frustrated and judgmental.
Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. -Eph 4:32
We have tremendously enjoyed going through the “The Love Dare” for our morning devotional. It reflects the wisdom of God, is very practical and validates that God’s ways work! Darlene and I always want to improve and deepen our marriage relationship and “The Love Dare” has given us a giant step to accomplish this. Great relationship manual!
-Bob and Darlene Watson
